The Lord Bless You & Keep You
When I realized that my arm couldn't reach 187 miles to protect, care for, and love, I wept... For an hour. In my car, I cried with my wife and rode in silence for 3hrs. We just dropped our first child off at college.
Safe community ✅
Christian University ✅
Close enough to get there if an emergency happens ✅
And it still hit me hard. I fully understand that in order for good and better to happen in Sirrah's life, there must be pain. I have to hurt, Delia has to hurt, and she has to hurt. She's going to be great in this world and not just in her career, she's going to do amazing Kingdom work. So, why does it hurt?
I spent 18 years with this child who was never a sure thing even before she was born. From pregnancy complications before she was born, to scary surgeries, to personal disappointments, and damage done to her emotionally from others… She's persevered! And my wife and I have partnered with God to raise her into an amazing young woman. I have seen people not love their children. Some beat them senseless or go to the other extreme of lacking the rod of loving discipline, and some abandon them. But we've been there with her, and with our other 3 daughters through it all. And just when you get them where you want them to be, and they are flowing and moving as God intended, it hurts when you realize that for them to be better, you have to let them go.
This little girl I still remember being able to hold with one hand. I still remember when she lost her first tooth. I remember when we were finally able to buy them gifts for Christmas that they didn't have to share! I remember the summer we could afford a Six Flags pass, and I took them to Six Flags every week! (2 hour drives!) I don't just like my kids or tolerate them; I LOVE them. I have passed up many opportunities for their sake because I am willing to die for them. So, I don't feel ashamed for crying. But I do feel something for my perfectly imperfect child.
If I have this type of love for this daughter of mine, so much so that the thought of her being sad and away from me caused tears to flow that have not flowed for almost a decade, how great is the love of God? He gave up a literally perfect Son. He allowed Him to suffer for a people who would reject Him, and justified His punishment and sacrifice. If my little bitty love causes this type of feeling, how sad must the Father have been? I don't love as God loves. He gave His Son for you and me. And I KNOW it hurt. But it was so we could have better.
Today, I understand a bit better, not perfectly, the length, width, height, and depth of the (unfathomable) love of God.
This is the stuff I usually write and trash or journal. But I thought I’d share. Pray for us and our daughter. She'll be fine, and we will too, because of this same God.
